There's a Hoax Bruin

We've all heard the old riddle: When is a bear not a bear?

Apparently, the answer is: When it's in the Chrislip Zoo.

Zoo officials were flabbergasted yesterday when they learned that one of the most popular animals in the exhibit is a fraud. Hercules, a large bear of the Kodiak persuasion, is, in fact, Don Moseley, an unemployed roofing contractor from Standish. The masquerade has been going on since the bear was hired last September.

It likely would have continued if not for the sharp eyes of local schoolteacher Irene Bigelow. Mrs. Bigelow was leading her third-grade class on a field trip to the zoo when she noticed some peculiar behavior by Hercules.

"At first he acted like a normal bear," she said. "He was growling and pawing the ground and snarling 'Grrr! I'm a bear! Look out for me!' But then he did something unusual. I saw him trying to bum a Lucky Strike off a tourist. I said to myself 'Irene, that's just not right'."

Thank you for not feeding Don Moseley

When informed that Hercules was really a man in a bear suit, zoo workers took immediate action. First they changed the sign in his cage from "Please Don't Feed The Bear" to "Please Don't Feed Don Moseley." An hour later they took him deep into the woods and released him.

Zoo director Howard Lindsay is taking precautions to make sure there are no more episodes like this one.

Zoo director interviews potential employee

"We're grilling every animal in the zoo," he said, "to make darn certain they are who they say they are. And I promise to let the public know if I find any more animals that are really guys."

Chrislip College Journal

There's a Hoax Bruin