Chrislip College Journal


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Mayor Misses Meeting - Suffering From Phantom Hat

Mayor Howard Presnell was not in attendance at the town meeting yesterday due to a bout with a malady known as "phantom hat."

Mayor Presnell's personal physician explained: "You know how it is when you wear a hat for a long time, and after you take it off it feels like you still have it on? That's what we have here."

It was after several hours of yard work while wearing his Chrislip College Fighting Pines baseball cap that Mayor Presnell first noticed the symptoms. Phantom hat is not considered serious and only rarely leads to lasting complications.

The doctor reported that the mayor is in fine spirits, but that he "just can't get it through his head that he doesn't have a hat on."

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Contents

Upward Mobility

Prof Loses Job Over Racial Flap

Dean Declares That Free Speech Is More Like Accordions Than We Think

Fictional People Write To Fictional People

Pinwheel In Space!

Mexican Chili Arrives!

Chrislip Baseball Coach Lou Effinger Speaks Out

Dean Marner Censures Theater Chief

Odorless Flower Invented!

Phobias, Phonecians, Grandpa Bunderson, et cetera

Jerry Lewis Scares People

Music Prof Demonstrates Hamlisch Maneuver

Ask Max Trask

Liberace Lives!

There's a Hoax Bruin

Take It From Me, You Need A New Car!

Harryville

Mayor Misses Meeting - Suffering From Phantom Hat

Another Senseless Attack

Chrislip City Planner Lunches With Clinton: "Close Enough To Pop Him!"

Man Sits On Toilet and Refuses To Go

My First Date

Seals With A Kiss

Little Leaguer Injured In Mishap

Funeral Home Offers Sleigh Rides

Fame