Chrislip College Journal
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Man Sits On Toilet and Refuses To Go
In an episode reminiscent of the days when Chrislip College was a hotbed of political protest, janitor Henry Bennett has ensconced himself upon a toilet in the student union and is vowing to remain until his demands are met.
It is not yet known what Mr. Bennett is demanding. Reporters were sent
to interview him, but shortly after their arrival he pooped and they fled
the premises. The janitor had a long history of mental instability. At
different times he has claimed to be the Chairman of General Motors, the
King of Atlantis, and the Pointer Sisters.
It's rumored that he is recording the experience of his latest bathroom debacle in a series of notebooks, and hopes to someday publish them under the collective title "The Logs of Henry Bennett".
Prof Loses Job Over Racial Flap
Dean Declares That Free Speech Is More Like Accordions Than We Think
Fictional People Write To Fictional People
Chrislip Baseball Coach Lou Effinger Speaks Out
Dean Marner Censures Theater Chief
Phobias, Phonecians, Grandpa Bunderson, et cetera
Music Prof Demonstrates Hamlisch Maneuver
Take It From Me, You Need A New Car!
Mayor Misses Meeting - Suffering From Phantom Hat
Chrislip City Planner Lunches With Clinton: "Close Enough To Pop Him!"
Man Sits On Toilet and Refuses To Go
Little Leaguer Injured In Mishap