Chrislip College Journal

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Funeral Home Offers Sleigh Rides

Betty Mortenson knows better than to tamper with a good thing. It was just last January that Betty, director of Mortenson's Funeral Home, hit upon the idea of offering free sleigh rides to children ten and under. She states that the promotion was such a success that it will continue next winter as well.

Mrs. Mortenson with the late Scottie Boyd

Betty is quick to point out that sleigh rides are just a continuation of Mortenson's service to the community. "All of us here take pride in our work," she says. "The key to being successful is making the customer look as normal and natural as possible. When you bring Old Aunt Grace to us, we guarantee she will still look like Old Aunt Grace when we're finished, not like some paraffin dummy from hell that looks as if it's about to go for your throat." The Home also offers helpful beauty makeovers by a staff of friendly, cheerful cosmetologists who are never too busy to stop and pass the time of day with each other.

All success aside, Betty Mortenson is not one to rest on her laurels. She says that next winter in addition to the sleigh rides, she will present each young customer with a lapel button reading "I'm Dead, Therefore I Sled."