Chrislip College Journal


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Mexican Chili Arrives!

If you asked the handful of Mexican students attending Chrislip College what they missed about their homeland, they'd probably mention: 1) the food, 2) those big hats, and 3) nothing. Dean Marner's administration can't do much about 2 or 3, but food is a different story. In order to make our south-of-the-border guests feel at home, the administration arranged for 200 gallons of genuine Mexican chili to be delivered here from Ixtapa. Kitchen workers hurriedly moved the barrels of chili into the cafeteria (see photo) to prepare a meal no one would soon forget.

Cafeteria workers

Mexican chili differs from other chili in that Mexicans can eat it while normal people can't. It's said that even looking at the chili without proper eye protection can result in blindness or insanity. But that's probably just a rumor born of the innate prejudice that dwells in the hearts of human beings everywhere except here.

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Contents

Upward Mobility

Prof Loses Job Over Racial Flap

Dean Declares That Free Speech Is More Like Accordions Than We Think

Fictional People Write To Fictional People

Pinwheel In Space!

Mexican Chili Arrives!

Chrislip Baseball Coach Lou Effinger Speaks Out

Dean Marner Censures Theater Chief

Odorless Flower Invented!

Phobias, Phonecians, Grandpa Bunderson, et cetera

Jerry Lewis Scares People

Music Prof Demonstrates Hamlisch Maneuver

Ask Max Trask

Liberace Lives!

There's a Hoax Bruin

Take It From Me, You Need A New Car!

Harryville

Mayor Misses Meeting - Suffering From Phantom Hat

Another Senseless Attack

Chrislip City Planner Lunches With Clinton: "Close Enough To Pop Him!"

Man Sits On Toilet and Refuses To Go

My First Date

Seals With A Kiss

Little Leaguer Injured In Mishap

Funeral Home Offers Sleigh Rides

Fame